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i snap just like that... its the scariest thing that could happen to me... totally numb senseless and immovable. I got scared that it may not go away this time. Just right after a fight i got a call from a company and gave the person on the other line the sickest voice i could muster... im in no mood to talk to anybody... i clam up just like that! And people hate it! I guess thats the worst... when people scream at the top of their lungs proclaiming ones uselessness and then the people they scream at seems to be at a placid state! Totally ignoring them... i totally pissed them off, im really good at that. not aware of the damage they did to the person they are screaming at... they thought i'll be over it after a few hours... thats how i am to them... you scream and utter the worst words to me and it seems that i dont care a bit... yeah i dont care really ive been having that since what? birth... as long as you dont talk to me again... i dont mind losing another person anyway... and i bet they dont mind losing me... what a vicious cycle... ive been trap here just like this... immovable still... i dont feel anything anymore i wonder why i should go on like shit. I seriously need a job before this house drive me at my edge... i never let it happen to me. like you have to kill me first! But guess what ill do that before you do!