pagmumunimuni.

“Ang Awit ng Kabataan… ang awit ng panahon…”
Nice one bamboo.
(listening to Rivermaya)

It’s boring here. If my tita read this I bet she’ll say,

“Paano wala kang ginagawa… puro ka tv, pagnatapos radio! Eh kung nagbabasa ka at naglilinis ng bahay e di me nagawa ka! Puro ka boring… di tayo mayaman kaya di mo magagawa mga ginagawa ng mga kaklase mo. Sila pwedeng ‘di na maglinis dahil me katulong sila, sila me pera para panglakwatsa ikaw wala… sige maglampaso kana sa baba at wala kung maaasahang maglinis kung ‘di tayo rin! ”

Hmmm…
Look at the bright side I still have my hands to clean it all up and to type in my complaints.

“Mag-aral ka ng mabuti para magawa mo lahat ng gusto mo. Bumili ka ng bahay at kotse para di ka na maglalakad at na ‘di na kita pakikielaman.”

I’m trying to be the best that I can be but it’s just in my mind.

“Pagnatapos ka na bahala ka na, me bahay ka na naman umuwi ka na sa inyo at tulungan mo naman mga kapatid mo!”

Is this a requirement, an obligation that is passed by because you’re so unlucky to be the eldest?
It’s a closure for 2005 but I bet I’ll be hearing more of this till I graduate…

“Kailangan lang pagbigyan… Kulang Lang Sa Pansin… nauubos din ang luha… natutuyo at nawawala… naglalaho din pala…”
(listening to sponge cola)

RekLamad0r!!!

It’s 5:25 pm in the last Friday of 2005. I’m not in the computer shop, for this ending entry of mine in my blog needs some more substance and all. I don’t know if I’ll achieve that here at home. I guess you just have to read it to find out.

They say that the best is always saved for last, well, not this year. I know I have been complaining all along my college life. I have the pettiest things in a list that I consider suppressing and of course depressing. One, I’m in a school wherein you don’t have a reason not to be gregarious, and yes, pretentious comes along with it. Numbered are the people who really know me in my class. Basically because I don’t think they have the need to know me. But this is self-mortification. Here you need not be independent. You always have your classmates whether you like it or not. I want to look at it on the bright side but just can’t find the occulted view of it. For once some of my block mates, as not expected, are still a bit attached to there old ways. I’m not going to expound on this for this is just a mere self opinion in which I might disturb the placid life of theirs. I think my opinions are derogatory and have no basic facts to support it, but hey it’s democracy we’re living in. Ok, guess I have to move on and be mature enough to stand for my decisions. I’m not going to do about anything that doesn’t concern me. If you are to do something, do it. And for God sake, don’t blame me for not doing anything about the stuff that is assigned to you. I’ve been in the business for a couple of years and I know how to deal with it single handed. All I can give is advices, which I think is very much needed as I see it. Be systematic! If you know that word than you’ll survive your life that you considered damned. Sorry, but I can be brutal you know, especially if I see that your such a wimp.
So there guess I’d poured it all out.
You see, if I’m not happy in school I’m not happy at all. My school is my life. My classmates are my obstacles and rewards. My job is to balance them all and try to unlock the beauty of being a friend, a tormentor, and a student. I really don’t have a life at home in which if my tita found that one out will be very disappointed in my ungratefulness. I apologize for that. I know that they tried and still trying their best to cover-up for my flaws. Guess what, it’s starting to unravel itself. Hmmm… that one is scary.
At least I had a great first three months. I just hope that by next year I’ll be able to pull it off and be the best that I can be especially considering that these next three years will be my last and will serve as my backbone for my future.
Sorry for having such a boring life. Maybe I’ll not be like this if my cellphone wasn’t stolen and I’ll be as sociable as I used to be.

Just finished listening to Gemini (remastered version)…

My Holidays...

I dont know where to start!
Yesterday was mica's debut and we have to sweat all out to be at our best, or not!
I'm in the compshop right now and I just finished reading all the needed reading in blogs... including some girl... I feel sick! I can't believe I'm actually reading her entries and then feel so damned in life. This is like suicide with a twist. I'm damned, it's holiday and I'm not suppose to feel this way. Fhau is leaving today for Dagupan and I won't be having somebody to listen to all my peevish talkings. I wish I'm at school, in highschool so I could make them all listen to all the hardships (those little things that I consider) in life. I never had a happy holiday... i can't believe that it's just now that I realize it. I don't have my family, now my friends... I'm hoping that by the end of my school days I'll be able to pull something out of my closet and let them celebrate a typical holiday with me. I thought I'm used to it but everytime this season comes it's like sometings creeping on the back of my neck reminding me of my losts... Now I understand how people can get so happy when they have somebody (no, not lovers!). When I'm at Mica's party I could see in her eyes things that I wish I'll be having whenever I'm around with my family... Well, I guess I have to wait some more years before it happen. It will happen, or not!
I don't know what happened to me after reading that bitch's blog! Ok, I'll stop calling her bitch for my new year's resolution... maybe slut!!! haha...
Ok, I'll be good... promise...

Bad impact of some blog... Maybe just envious, or not. It has to be over by now...
Just feeling Nostalgic!!!

Invinsible Barrier on Katipunan...

First, thanks again to fhau for being there all the time... we went to starbuck katips last wednesday!!! Nice attitude for a true CA, we almost chicken out! hehe... I never like the katipunan area, it's like giving you this feeling of dont-have-a-car, sorry not a place for you!!! Damn! Imagine that you have to walk all the way out to the katipunan mrt station just to be at your destination. Maybe that is the reason why I felt better when I'm in lasalle... It's like your just in uste with lrt in addition... It's noisy, polluted and god, they have jeepney passing by the school!!!
I'm sorry if I gave injustice to the ateneans place, but hey I bought the r&j ticket so there... I dont think I'll post here my conversations with tricia regarding those people it's generalizing and unfair for them. So there... Anyways I like the whole adventure going through all of these stuff. It's fun being in some place where there is this invinsible barrier that only some people could see and some people tries to break...
thanks to steven for the tickets and the extension...

Mixed up & PaskuHan!!!

10:47am
Calm down... I'm getting my R&J ticket later this afternoon. I'm not letting yanni boi see me unhappy.
and yeah... I now have ULTRAELECTROMAGNITIC JAM, the music of the eraserheads (thx fhau!)
___________________________________________________
9:30am
ever felt "inutil"
ung tipong pagnakakita ka ng kahit anong sharp object, kahit tinidor, pwede mong isaksak sa dibdib mo...
ung pagnakakita ka ng malapad at makapal na pader pwede mong isuntok ang bungo mo...

wide wall

green and strong

will you lend me yourself

and be cover

with red blood and all

ha!!!
wag daw akong pansinin... Shit!!! As if! I lived my life in seclusion and I could get the hell out of them!!! I could be the most flambouyant person you know but I could also be such a big loner, and I wouldn't give a damn about it!!!
I've been lost, and that's even before yael coul spell the word lost!
____________________________________________________
dec 20
11:45pm
damn, paskuhan!!! Thirteen years and this is what you've given me!!! Never in my life I'm going to line up there again!!! I'm there for my friends not for the food... and now you've eaten my time away!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Sorry Join the club, but never there will be such a yael that could take all the depression in one night! Hey you tried anyways...

Wish you were here...

1:54pm

I’m seeing them again… I hope I do. Three more days and its Paskuhan!!! (An annual Christmas celebration for Thomasians) I guess I’ll be seeing Tricia, Maila, Abby, Jhaycee and everybody else… Catherine people (junior high), Diana peeps (senior high), Kamada boys, Bidabida…My fellow batch mates that I come to hate, love, hate again… forgive, envy, praise, use, talk, talk about, cheat, admire, despise, discourse… yes, all of you. I wish you were all here. All the boys & girl scoots, varsity players, top notchers, debaters, corrupt officers, abusers, free-loaders, atheist, skeptics, stoic (like me…), believer, hopefuls, cheaters, teacher’s pet (a few…), teacher’s nightmare (woo… dami), party people, late comers, late-paper-submitter, absent-lover, ma’am-Tolentino-lover (violator), Sir.Joson-fan (sh*t), Melvin’s-angels… I call you all!!! Damn I miss you all!!!

Listening to “Gamu-gamo”… Ely, you are such an antidote…

Music and Drama..

HATE HALE…
December 15, 2005
12:05am
Hmmm… now tell me… shout to me… let me know who HATES HALE!!!
Damn you!
You don’t know what you’re in to.
(Listening to runaway…)
God, they have it!
If you don’t like them try this…
1. Find a perfect time to listen to there music (you must be irritated with all the screaming fans whenever you hear them.)
2. Make sure that you’re in the middle of please-give-me-something-new…
3. Having a hard time sleeping??? Try this!
4. Broken hearted???
5. Broken wallets???
6. Empty life…
7. Don’t watch there videos… you must be disgusted at Arthur’s (Champ) too-angelic face or that you’re sorry you can’t have such a guy.

BEAUTIFUL MACHINE: BREAKING MY DIGESTIVE SYSTEM
December 15, 2005
11:21am
Busying myself masticating evenly every lyric that’s in this album (Beautiful Machines; BIG thanks to Jana, the owner) I think I like the last album better or it’s just so new or something. But hey, I like a lot of stuff in here like “False Alarm” by the ever model-looking Bogs, the new found desire of Marice. “Gamu-gamo” is a classic-Ely. “Beautiful Machine” sang by Diane, Ely’s you-know-what, would probably be my favorite along side “Different Worlds”, and “Lost Guide”. I bet Yan is so inspired by Lost (addiction of his younger bro.) that he named it after the series. Well, ok it’s good. But good is not great and neither poor, or majestic, or sublime, or horrible… Hmmm…. I guess the songs are too deep or too overwhelming or something in between. Guess my digestive system was broken by this album.
Ok, I’ll get back to Hale… it’s a lot easier…
“Life is easier when eyes closed.” – Tattoo of Charlie, [Lost]


NOSTALGIA&MORE OF “DIZZY”…
December 13, 2005
10:22pm…
“I’m gonna fuck you like there’s no tomorrow!”
Nope, that was not me speaking. It was somebody else’s demonic side… Well it’s from a song that I know you don’t know… cool isn’t it!!! It’s a two year old album of some aspiring band, unfortunately the so-called experimental group failed of some sort. Well they are back with a different name… and bassist… and guitarist… relatively the guitarist moved out to find himself and decided to be some sound engineer. And so the used-to-be bassist now holds a grip on the guitars. Then they look for some charitable soul that would fill the space for the guitarist… then there you have it, the so called PUPIL.
Ok, if you don’t know them, one thing, you’re not a die-hard magbalikan-na-sana-eheads wishful and a Sponge cola maniac of some sort. Yeah whatever!!! I don’t think I’m making sense. I’m supposed to be grueling myself to death over some reading, but hey here I am digesting some album that is too old, yet to cool to listen to. I just finished the new album of theirs. Well haven’t really put it to my entire memory bank, so I just can’t say anything about it. It’s like saying that somebody’s hair is ok but actually you don’t really find time to look at it!
Darn… 10:42pm
I hate this feeling thinking that I could make it on time, but then you’re like a crazy moron wishing you could invent a time machine just to bring you back everything…
I should be turning this off… What the hell… I’ve pulled it off a lot of times… why can’t I do it now and yeah I think the albums over…
Ok Hale’s next in line…

Brat GirL...

11:49am

I didn't attend my Eco Class...
But I did my research in theo & geo!!! It's my second time and hey I think it's already time to go... I still have my theo class!
P.S.
Don't be like me.
Well just make sure you'll get what you wanted, talking about your grade.

Forgetting the neglected...

2:37pm

see... I forgot to save my post. It's lost. It's gone... the neglected one...
I was talking about some faculty show... Camille R, who hasn't gone back... neglected days&papers... life.
I'm going to post something... not now, I can't cause it's in a diskette. And this damn library can't have any of it! hahaha... I better end this!
Where is Camille anyway???...

Elysium, my cordial

stop... its almost as if the two guys can see (I was referring to the two sandwiching me in this line of unending screens here in the right wing of the sixth floor of this building.) Nothing to type... just full bloom. (it's nothing with full bloom, it's just for the ears... not to the senses.) ok, since im here in my so-called elysium better give you an almost eye-to-eye look of it. It's at the sixth floor of a building, in my school, it's freezing here and very penetrating to the skin, its quite quiet except of couse due to my typing activity and somebody else. i dont know what to give this blog, really... oh yeah, I want to give it life of it's own. We are nearing the end of school days so I better have some fun in this place of mine. Yes, it's mine! I'm quite possesive, yet submissive... Ok I'm not making sense, I'm I?A before I squeeze all of my dried up emotions here and not spare some of it at my bed, Please try to watch Romeo&Juliet... it's on Jan, 14 2006, I don't know where... Anyhows, just ask any sc fan. Not me, I'm trying to ignore them these days, which is so hard by the way."We all deserve a little bit more" - Yan