Elysium

Why am I always alone to see them die?.


first my tita dolly, now my lola.

I was foolish enough to busy myself uploading screencaps of Arashi's concert when my tita ave called me from downstairs...
i hurried only to hear a loud sound from my lola... it was more like a snore but we both know that it was more than that. She was losing it.
Tita called the doctor and when he arrive he told us that my lola wont last 24hrs.
It was one of the longest wait... i thought when im done uploading those pics, they both will be over.
My tita myrna arrive and we all talk about whats goin to happen. we sort of prepared ourselves for this. we all know she wont last that long with all thats happening to her.
And so they all busy themselves preparing. Everybody looked ok but you could sense some tension.

Death is such an unwelcomed guest, but hey he is a guest, treat him well!

i sat down next to lola. my tita ave was busy and so is tita myrna. They were all in the kitchen and i was there all alone.
I sort of felt its goin to happen again. im sort of freak out a bit at the thought of it.

But when she stopped breathing all i did was touch her chest and feel it once more. After a few seconds she gasped for another one. It was more peaceful this time. No sound whatsoever. Then the last, she relaxed her facial muscle and just died.

i stood up, looked at her closely.
it was over.

my tita entered the room and asked me what happened.
i just said "wala na." in my most monotone voice.

my titas get a little more tense. but they were ready for this.

and i felt betrayed once more.

seeing death taking over life is the most unpretty sight. i might be ready for it. but it was still unpretty.
i guess im bound to see all these since im the most frigid.
i hate it though.

it took my innocence when i first saw it happened to tita dolly.

she was crashing and my tita ave called for a doctor.
i was the only left at her side. then i just knew it was over.
i took a napkin and wipe some mouth stains.
it was over i said to myself in the most unemotional way possible.


Death may be unpretty, but it is what makes life a beauty.