Elysium

before the day ends

Im not a birthday person since God knows when... I really dont know the last time i celebrate it and i even blog last year that i dont like people greeting me...

The thing is i cant hide myself all the time. I used to be more comfortable allowing this day to be as ordinary as possible, (there is even a point where i turned off my phone) i keep it to myself and wished that nobody would try to look at any list that indicates this day. I dont know when i started being uncomfortable with this day (sometimes i wish i could just skip this day) maybe its just that im not used to people wishing me a happy one or i built this notion that they just greet me like a robot programed to walk and talk like humans, just a mechanical obligation or an impulse without meaning sort of a greeting.

i dont like people saying empty words. I used to have meaningful and wonderful birthdays when i was younger and you just have no idea how fun it is to have this day before, but bitchy life happens and the people i celebrate it with are gone leaving me with nothing but nonchalant greetings, empty ones. I dont care about the party i dont care about the celebration i just wanted and always hoped that people would greet me not just because i have a party or food to share but the fact that this is my birthday.

And today i felt for a very long time that people finally greeted me with more warmth and consciousness that yes this is in fact a very important day.

To everyone Thank You! For sticking with the self-rightous-frigid -me that knows nothing but my passion for my fandom! Ive been very selfish really and i just cant imagine anyone really caring what day is this for me. I dont care for the most part but since you do who am i to ignore your greetings!


This is going to be hard but i'll try my best to care more and get out of my comfort zones. I should fix my life right now, im not getting younger (but im young really... i feel young!) and should start investing with import things in life, relationships with everyone. I'll try not to be so distant and maybe i should lessen the area of my personal space, I'll try but i cant promise though. Ahahaha!

Again for everyone Thank you for changing my mind regarding birthdays! ^_^