Ambisyoso

Ambisyoso
Kamikazee

Ang sarap sanang magkaroon ng
Sapatos na lumilipad
Spaceship, kotse ni batman
X-ray shades at laser gun
Magic wallet na hindi nauubusan ng laman
Time machine (time machine)
Babalik ang oras
Ngayon din

Chorus:
Libre lang mangarap
Walang hanggan na pag-hiling
Libre lang mangarap
Managinip ka habang gising

Ang sarap sanang maging bida
Sa sariling kong pelikula
Ninja, kumakain ng bala
Magaling sumayaw parang john travolta
Ka-love team ko ang lahat
Nang magaganda at seksing artista
Kissing scene
kay aubrey miles o Angel locsin

(repeat chorus 2x)
Di tulad sa tindahan
Walang utang, walang listahan
Managinip at mangarap
Walang kang babayaran(repeat chorus)
Libre lang mangarap
Walang hanggan na pag-hiling
Libre lang mangarap
Managinip ka

Who said I'll could not fall for a Good Boy???
KIM JEONG HOON

Watch out for the SEVEN BLACK ROSES!
(-walang kinalaman ang pic na 'to, just got it from Ms.WawiNavarroza)

hay naku!

I wasn't able to post anything yesterday due to my sore body... Hay naku!

It all started when Maam Mort gave us that chocolate cake! It wasnt cake, it is all chocolate! HEAVY CHOCOLATE!!! God it was great! So you could actually predict what happened next! My throat started to sound strange and my body temperature started to rise! Hay naku!
After the crazy Tomcat party Joanna and I decide to go to SM SanLazaro, for what??? to buy a sparkling eyeliner! I dont know if I'd put enough. I dont think anybody noticed it...
Hay naku!
So there, I went back at our house fixed myself and gifts that only half received, since half only attended Paskuhan, or so I did not see them!
Hay naku!
But then it's true that things happen the least you expect it! Maila, Lorain, and Marte(Raymond) was there when I passed by the benches! I was so happy to see all of them... Hay naku! "di na naka Move-on."
then, just before they had the fireworks I saw Jev! Im super happy to see him... Na miss ko naman si Don. Jev and Don are inseparable! The whole Dominic Barkada was there, meaning I was able to give Tricia my gift. (buti naman, last year di ko siya nakita!) They are the Espana turned Diliman-Katipunan people! Go figure! I suddenly felt happy to see them still coming, not forgeting...
Hay naku!
Magulo na... I saw Marice... The CA1 people... (na nawalay ako!)
Hay Naku!
When we returned, they were not there anymore, so syempre di ako papahuli! I grabbed Maila, Lorain, and Marte at the center!!! Sa harap mismo! Thank God we were able to squeeze in before Urbandub started their set! My GOD!!! It was awesome! Wala na kong masabi kung di "I Love You Gabi!" Putik, I am so in love with them. Hassle naman kung babanggitin ko silang lahat so I just stick with that one liner.
Hay naku!
The moshpit was great di na ko makagalaw... all I could do was raise my vidcam in one direction! So hassle nanaman! Haha! At the latter part I just skip the cam part! I just wanted to enjoy this! To be in harmony with the crowd!!! JUMP!!! JUMP!!! JUMP!!! One direction. Up down, up down! It was crazy Maila and Lorain were not familiar with these guys pero sige! Talon lang! Enjoy! Pag di ka tumalon sa lugar namin, kamusta ka naman! HAHA! Ang saya!
Hay naku!

We are in harmony... the crowd.

Salamat sa masayang taon, kahit papano!

There is more than what the eyes could see, more than the tangible you bring.

HAPPY NA MERRY PA!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY ELYSIUM!
HAHAHA 1st year of rock and roll!

Go to the PASKUHAN!
December 20, 2006... There's a fireworks display, medyo shortened. Ok din!
and see my Rocking Outfit! Hope my Mig and Hotness will be there!
I've done shopping at 168 just a few minutes ago, ALONE! haha! Di ko pa naman talaga alam un pauwi! My tita just told me to find Recto then that's it! hahaha! Enough time to post here and go to my PE class. I thought I'll be late and traffic pa naman sa loob ng mall. You really have to squeeze in to get ahead! Hay, maaga nga masikip pa rin! So for those thinking about going there make sure you're already there by 9:00 am or even earlier than that if you dont want to be stuck! Sayang naman kung di kayo makakalibot!

anyways...

BUHAY O PATAY???

I've been feeling a lot more worse than before due to things that I cant explain here... (damn bakit kasi nagBlog tapos di ko rin malabas lahat ng kaHAYUPAN sa MUNDO???) Anyways I'm trying really hard not to talk bout it kasi lalo lang maSUSURFACE un issue! And I have no time to argue or even to think about those people na di marunong makipag-usap!!! When I say TALK, I mean real talk! Come on! Im like the easiest person to talk to, kahit sabihing epal ako ok... K lang as long as you say it!
Now everything is ruined!
I hate this past few days, feels like Im going round and round doin stupid things. Im freaking out bout my studies but not doin anything!!! hay...
I feel like sick bout this, I've already told this to Sam and Camille, but I dont feel like its going to subside or what! I dont like having this bad feelings inside... Ayaw ko ring maalala.
Gusto kong bumalik sa time na lahat kami ay nag-uusap tungkol sa kaEpalan ng isa't isa! HAHA! OK lang yun eh. Maybe they are just f**king different. EWAN.

So what's Next JENN?
....
Move on!
How can I move on if I know there is something wrong with the system, and I cant even present my side! It's like, they find you guilty and that is it! You are guilty without giving your side!
I couldnt say more.
Merry Christmas everyone!

WALA akong nagustuhan ngayong week na to! Mabait lang talaga si God at pinakinggan ang plead ko sa stat... yun lang.

ps.
GOD I STILL LOVE YOU! If I cant rely on you 'di ko na alam.
And I'm not against anybody... Im more like blaming myself. Do not worry, I couldnt hate myself even more.

another ps.
NUrock Awards TV special will be aired on Friday December 15, 2006! Its on Studio23. See Mong win 2 freaking awards! Love You Dude!
Survive Jenn, coz Vampires never die.

Losing Grip

Too much is bad enough.

I just received a text message from my bestfriend and she was asking why on earth that I seemed busy? "BUSY BA KO?" I dont think i'm busy... what I think is that I'm not doing fine with my schedule. I guess I really have to adjust to the work loads that I'm getting... Really, Im not busy. My house is a five minute trip from school (as long as there is no traffic). But really i'm not busy! I'm having a worry moments with my grades this semester. I dont think I'll fail but what I think is that I'm not going to do fine! Grade conscious??? Yes I'm not denying that. I wont deny, cause I feel the need to be conscious!

Whirlwind has taken me. So abruptly. Still taking me to a place, then to another and another. Never stop!

I do have a suicidal tendency. And I'm thinking of logical reasons to explain this to anyone that would soon barricade me from doing so. Well, Im not going to die soon! You wish!

"The Ethics of Writing" a seminar for Writers or whoever, I think is still going on at the TARC. I just attended the morning session due to pe class, anyways. They actually disccussed the blog thing and the new media introducing a more community kind of way for writers, though you should know the essential blogs from not... and so on... I actually had fun being their, with all the great writers! Imagine that! F Sionil Jose was there and many more! HAHAHA!
Get this! According to one of the speakers it is said that before, libraries are astoundingly noisy! There is even an instance where Saint Augustine was then shock seeing Saint Ambrose reading in silence! People then speak out what they are reading for them to effectively put things on their mind. See! So next time you are being scolded by the librarian say that you just have to read it aloud in order for you to grasp everything immediately. Dont use this if you are just talking non sense though!

My heads is spining fast. Aircon, blazing heat from the sun, aircon, this is too much for me! Why on earth did they ever built an aircon if one cant adopt to their habitat? Why? Cant they?
Eh putik! Nasa Pilipinas ka tapos ini-aircon ka tapos lalabas ka tutuong mundong mainit! Edi nagkasakit ka! Hayop! Isa pa! Sabi nila kaya me aircon kasi di na tulad ng dati na malinis pa ang hangin! E bakit di ba me pollution din sa aircon?! Kung walang pollution di ganito kainit sa pilipinas! Ok ang klima natin, epal lang talaga ang ibang taong gustong kumita! We are born to adopt to the environment eh! Necessities!
Sorry kung bitter!
It just dawned on me that a lot of things were being manipulated by a small but terrible group of assholes! Hai.

Sabi ni Ate Cess Aktibista daw ako! Pwede daw ako sa UP! HAHA! Gusto ko sila. Ayaw nila ako!

If I do good will I die soon? If I do bad what then?
I DONT BELIEVE IN KARMA! It's just that the word has been missed used and abused! Why?! Because karma is not the thing that would cause you losing your wallet because you didnt give a peso to a beggar! It's not the thing that would cause you to slip in a crowded place because you said an offensive word to a person, it is not the thing that would cause you to lose a game because you failed to be a friend! Karma is something that you would get afterlife! Next life that is, according to the Buddism and Hinduism religion. First, Im a member of any of these sect second there is no afterlife! You see! People get to think that karma is something that would happen immediately after a certain act! The truth is, it is not! Basta!

Pasensya kung masyadong epal itong post ko!


PS. Oh yes I have something good to post here! I already have a Sony miniDV!

Overflowing of thoughts.

I'm paranoid! Yes paranoid at the fact that I just can help but be the one thing that I want to be. FAST. Im not satisfied with myself I dont know why. Im simply pathetic I guess. Yes I know Im pathetic but not definitely understanding myself. Pathetic.

Im Happy... Im suppose to be happy. I got what I want. Im happy. Momentarily.

Ang dami kong na-realize.

You can get the best things even if all you do is to do nothing. It comes you see.
Heat of the sun can do no harm to me.
I can rely on a lot of person.
My bestfriend has a warm heart. She does it in little yet surprising way. (Bait mo dude!)
I've done the Vampire Sign!
Mahal magPE ng Basketball!!! (hello sunblock!)
Masaya ang basketball!
Marunong akong magSHOT! (Sinapian ng Tigers!)
Ang ganda ng USTe! (Vampire's nightout.)
My HOTNESS... *more


Now I know why Im feeling that distant discomfort. I cant be happy forever even if I want to. It comes and goes and now that I have that moment I dont know how I can make it stay forever.
I guess it's like having a lover... you know you cant have him forever yet you just cant help the fact that it wont last... even if you know. You know.

When i leave
I wanna wait for the silence
You gave me all you’ve got
And now i stand here waving to you
But still you smile
You’re still looking back
Maybe i just wasn’t kind enough
I’m fighting urges to fall again
Yet i stumble
Yet i stumble
-Seven Black roses (Chicosci)

I see MYSELF! Blurred no more...

I think I am about to cry right now. Well inside I guess. I mean... cry for the happiness I'm feeling. I think yesterday was one of the most MEANINGFUL, HAPPY, and ALIVE days of my life. I'm finally seeing myself more than I used to.

Yesterday when Loreto got the question for our speech activity "What is the most alive time of your day?" An answer immediately pops in my head...
After class.
I was not able to attend the live airing of TNU (Tomcat News Update) due to reasons I can't mention here cause some people might kill me!

Let me tell you instead of the reasons why I consider November 10, 2006 as one of the most wonderful moments in my life!

I felt something or should I say someone being miserable in the air. Well, I'm not happy because something's wrong, but whatever! I told Sam I wasn't happy! But I was freaking giggling and laughing and my lips were curved althrough out and... OK! I dont know if I'm happy but well, I shouldn't! Have you ever felt that you should be feeling bad for something but you just cant deny the happiness in your face. That's that!
It's undeniable!

When I was on my way to somewhere... I received a text message that says that I passed the first interview for my scholarship. Now that's reasonable.

Lestat was sizzling hot! Crawl on me baby.

5:50pm we were on the way for the UAAP something, I cant believe I forgot this (the event) I just finished the script and this is all my idea and ahh... brains. Well to continue, we immediately went on the search for the Studio 23 Staffs who by the way is responsible for the event. Ms. Mafe a graduate of UST was the one in-charge for the event and well it took us sometime to interview her and all! hahaha... It was our first and Ate Cess (our Executive Producer) was not even there, so bare with our hesitations and all. They are so accomodationg hahaha! We even got our seats at the guest area (backstage) even if it was not a Tomcat thing! When Ate Cess saw us at the guest area she was like "Bakit nan dyan kayo?" we just laughed and and said "Ma-papel eh!" And anyways, the Tigers were there but I'm not really excited about that! What I'm so loco was the fact that I was able to get the video camera for myself and do my very first education on camera handling! I swear I felt like I'm so guarded by some force! I was able to get away with anything as long as I have the cam with me! We interviewed some Tigers, the SOCC, Ms. Mafe, students and we even ask Protein Shake and Callalily for some TOMCAT advertisements or whatever you call it! this is what we asked them to recite simultaneously:

"Hi! We're _________ and you are watching Tomcat!"

When Kean first read what we wrote he's like "Hi! We're 'BLANK' and you are watching Tomcat!"

What the??? He is fun though! They are fun, I must correct myself. Aiya's the best even if we haven't had the luxury of time in having them on cam. They so ROCK! Well, I guess that's the thing, they just born to rock! They had picture taking, Well, Yes including me. I dont know but I just like the feeling of being behind the cam. Haha. Ayaw ko pa eh dalawa nga un pic ke kean! Putik! It's not of my doing, I just have to wash my hands on that! hahaha! And Yes before I forgot I had the chance to go on stage, every performance, YEAH! ON STAGE! With the cam-my enthusiasm-passion for music and craze feeling! If you happen to be there I was the one at the left constantly getting shots of the bands and the crowd! Hahaha! Ang Saya!!! Ate Jamie even sprung out of nowhere at my side and was telling me "Oh kuha ka ng Crazy shots, (then she demonstated) this is your training for Tomcat!" She even asked me to go infront! (Sa stage, harapan ni Kean!) Men I can't do that it's like... I never done this before and that's not a Tomcat event... we are there just to get news! (MA-papel nga eh!) So I decide to keep my position, side of Tatsi. The shots were... I dont really know but Hell I tell you I had that momentum... I just can't stop! It's crazy! When Aiya was doing her dance it was like I want to dance with her! On STAGE! Well I was on stage! hahaha! I did horrible stuffs mind you, like almost losing my balance twice at the stairs when I was to get shots from Protein Shake! And I stupidly forgot to get shots of the banner of Studio 23 and the event which is really plain StupiD and unforgivable! Ahh my very first. haha!

I'm hoping I'll get to redeem myself on the 29th if I'm lucky enough to cover that concert thing and I hope it's going to be free for us, since the tickets gonna cost much!

Im Alive...


Im Alive.


p.s.
thanks to Ate Badeth for being the ate!; to joanna; to jane, which I think should thank me (TNU) more! Joke lang!; To Kuya for lending us extra batteries for the cam and for give us hope! Kita kits on the 29th, ay sa monday pala!

I go insane without you near me - Callalily

THE BEST SEMBREAK EVER!!!

Bakit??? Wow! Grabe I've done tons of things... well not really but atleast i'm not having the usual wake up- kain-tulog! I've done reading three books(vamp chronicle '7 more to go!'), watch season 1 of 'The O.C.', hang out with my little bro, do tomcat stuff, visit my lolo and tita dolly last Nov. 1, watch chicosci live "me pic kami at me autograph ko sa bag!!!". Even if I wasnt able to do the evil deed that's been planned, atleast I've done better things than just sleeping all day! hahaha. We even shop at 168! ANG SAYA NG SMUGGLED GOODS!!! hahaha! OK so that's bad... but hell!!! I was able to "tawad", not me actually but my tita, a yellow sweater from P380 to P270!!! What a bargain! Meron pa!

• bag = from P270 to P200
• slippers = P180 to P150
• shoes = P470 to P400

Ang saya! Shopping nah!!!

SEMBREAK: Tomcat week and some more.

Never thought I'd that much fun this sembreak! haha! Grabe! Thanks to tomcat they made me forget about my lolo's ghost, they made me stay out of the house, and they made me look at my future. Hai, I'm suppose to have a run down of those things that we did but hell ang dami eh! hahaha basta I've learned a lot! The "PRESENCE OF THE MIND", creativity and all! Ang Daming Free Food! hahaha... Libreng Donuts, YellowCab, Catering for lunch and more sa snack! hahaha! I also thought na what the heck we'll be doin tons of work but really I find it as the greastest challenge so far! I'm included at the TNU (tomcat news update) so how's that??! I'm oblige to be at the office everyday, to have an output every single day! hahaha! Ang saya! Well I'm actually hoping I get the show instead of 'seeking faith' hahaha! Okie nmn un eh ayaw ko lang! hahaha! And as far as I know where will be tons of events for this sem... so full of news un! hahaha talaga! NO... really, I'm happy! I'm finally seeing myself finally! But, of course that doesnt stop there! I have lots of dream works so.... really hoping that this will be my time to be of "util"! wish me luck.


Yesterday was the ever bayaran ng tuition! So... there as always we run out of PE classes and I resort to having it on saturdays! Dahil nga I was targeting basketball or anything outdoor! "Di pa ko nakakapag outdoor eh!" So there... but the only available would be sat-basketball and some table tennis na weekdays. hell I'm not taking table tennis sobrang bobo ako dyan! plus that's also an indoor! So un Sat na lang. Camille told me na ok yan dahil un ang time na puro boylets! hahaha wish Q lng di Q maging classmate un new S.O. ko! hahaha baka di ako maka shot!


My youngest brother is here in Manila I think he's staying the whole week so I guess I'm taking him "LAKWATSA MANILA STYLE" hahaha!


As I will see you this friday
hope maximize
feeling expose
longing is forever

My Lestat.

A Promise on His DeathDay.

Now you are my beloved ghost
And here i'll wait for you to sing
Then we will have eternity
A promise to keep haunting me

This wine
From my veins
These gifts
We'll take

The sky is ours to keep tonight
Together in this silent sleep
We are the mist that fills the air
Lie still, just be with me

This wine
From my veins
These gifts
We'll take

And i'll be
The kiss
The gun
We'll be draining their blood again

Embrace the rest of me
Well be racing through the night
Again, embrace the rest of me
And then we'll feast on them, celebrating

I'm not alone
I can feel your eyes on me
I'm not alone
Your soul for all the world to see
Denied another day
Life took you away ...
i'll love you just the same

Cause you are my beloved ghost
And here i'll wait for you to sing
Then we will have eternity
A promise to keep haunting me

The sky is ours to keep tonight
Together in this silent sleep
We are the mist that fills the air
Lie still, just be with me

I'm not alone
I can feel your eyes on me
I'm not alone
Your soul for all the world to see
-chicosci

For some freaking reason my entry was lost and I have to do this all over again! To make my long story short.
Today is my lolo's deathday, His 5th! And last Sunday while I'm taking my night shower somebody tried to open the door knob from the kitchen and i thought its my tita but it's not! So when she left yesterday afternoon I felt the loathing and all then a bang against the very same door happened right in front of my very eye! Nobody is there or so I think! BS! that's what i get from being a biatch!!! Sorry 'lo. I hope it's just my lolo reminding to sleep early and for me to get better manners, if not then bs that lost ghost. haha. bs tlga! I have to adjust again for me to finish reading the vamp chronicles I thought the workshops would be the only problem but now this one pah! hay... Excited na Q sa future stuffs this next sem and hopefully I do good, and to my future, goodluck!
I get the message: Stop acting like a Biatch!!!

So bago magkatakutan okie takot na Q! I'm having this new "S.O."!!! kung ano man yan! Well it came to me when I finally give up on hoping for Miggy's small frame to grow bigger so I thought of 'hey there's something missing'... the next thing I knew he popped inside my head! Dahil to sa Vamp Chronicles!!! Well he certainly couldnt pass being a Vamp but basta! Grrr... Kainis talaga, I'm thinking stupid and nonsense thoughts and puff there he goes!
Dont get me wrong I still LOVE MIGGY! Putik walang-wala un newbie na yun noh! Just Want Him thats all. And to make things worse I already dreamed of him last night, inspite of being stupid scaring myself "baka me magpakita!"

The dream: Corny/stupid/Mahalay(to confirm that, the divirginized batchmate of mine is there offering his attic for a place of release!)/Sweet, dahil di natuloy! putik next time nga naman nagkakasalubong kami baka... basta this is not the time to see him, anyways...

realization: remember that other crush "un miggy look alike kuno!" He's a senior, his GF & I graduated from the same hs and gradeschool. And He looks more like RicoBlanco!!!

And the joke's on me!

Lips like morphine.

"my mouth is too big for my face. it always look sensual."
- Lestat "Vampire Lestat"
(took by regina belmonte)

I have a ready entry which i believe i made last friday. But i guess i just have to forget all bout that! I've just finished watching "welcometo the black parade" which i watched like a hundread times (kahit sa lib na wla sound!) hehehe... Too much Vampiric lovin goin in my system right now! (Thanx to adie for the vampire chronicles!) Im done with the first and now moving on with my Rockstar-Dream-Vamp! hai...

Dont want to talk bout the things regarding school... so i'll just take you to the dark side of my hunger for that vampire world!!!! hahahaha.

the moment i laid my hands on those books i forgot time... well the truth is i've felt that to every book that i read so there. Its been a long time since a really read a good one so my tita and I once again fought about eating first and cleaning... (kasi paggising ko kahapon nagbasa agad ako!) The only thing that stopped my reading is that bs cramps!!! Hell!!! XENA please. I've told a couple of peope my fascination bout those creatures, but i guess that's more than that! hai... I never understood myself , I bet no one will. Anyways, I just so love the fact that they(vampires at the "interview...") well they love differently! I mean love without the physical aspect which i know a lot would raise a brow on that. but that's like being sensual without being lustful! I love them!!! MIGUEL I Love you! (so me ganun tlg!)

speaking of MY-LITTLE-VAMPIRE. They just had their 10th anniversary (band nya) last friday the 13th! CONGratS!!! I was to go but due to the VERY VERY VERY DEMANDING expo... you know nah! Just imagine me going all the way to bulacan just for that critiqued paper last friday after that long fcuking test! (salamat ke ms. maw para sa mataas na grade!) hay... just what i've told to camille "di bale sa 15th anniv GF nya na ko at sa 20th kasal na kmi!..." damn it talaga!

WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE!!!

WHAAAAA.....

FORGETFULNESS IS A BLESSING. FORGIVENESS IS A GIFT ONLY FOR THE WORTHY.



God, make me strong...

Hai... Hai...

Chasing Cars (snow patrol)

We'll do it all
Everything On our own
We don't need Anything
Or anyone


Ah great cold air finally entering my nosetrils... I've been doing my neting (internet using) at the first floor so I usually end up heating my wholeness when I got out of that room!

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?


Damn it! they should fix that airconditioning unit!
And now I'm freezing here at the humanities section... I just finished browsing the entire modules and hopefully get a passing grade on the finals!!!

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

Omg! It will be the exact same day for the first game for the tigers! I mean I'm not a fanatic, well... not anymore but hey, it's been a long time... ArgH!!! My hands are literally freezing, this bitter cold air is giving me a hard time doing this post. Damn, still freezing! I'm still static about the thingSSSSSS that I REALLY have to do this weekend!

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Just show me a garden that's bursting into life

GOAL:

• finish the expository paragraphs
• attend the Yoga GA! Which I should... I haven't seen them for a long time due to... well, a lot of things. This is a whole day affair so I really have to finish all of my expo work!
• Watch THE Game!
• Find a nutritionist that would critic my work in expository.
• Settle an apointment with an OFW for an interview for filipino (there are a lot but still havent talk to them)
• look for a bottle maker for the marketing stuff! (like as if they are going to pick us!!! Putik tlaga oh!)

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

Whatever that is happening right now I'm not enjoying every single moment of it!!! The whole week and the soon weeks will be hell weeks... And we havent started TVProd!!! Look at that, what a frustrating week!

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

"hating you is the most frustrating" - Grey's Anatomy

I'm so hook up with this show! Hay that dreamy eyes of Dr. Shepherd... the way Marideth say her lines... AH DRAMA!!! And even if I'm at the verge of not finishing my works nothing can stop me from watching this things... LOST, ALIAS, DESPERATE HOUSEWIFES... love them all!

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Just show me a garden that's bursting into life

still loaded with stuff, got to release them tomorrow on the yoga GA!

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes,
I just couldn't see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

HAI... HAI... (do this Cyrus style, Kim Sam Soon)

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

BackPains...

It all started when I've lOST my briefcase loaded with my expository stuff... ALL of my EXPOSITORY STUFF!!! Thanks a bunch to that guy (whoever that hell is) who took it! What the hell is he suppose to do with a bunch of papers dealing with milk and chocolate... ah??? What an ASSSSSSS HOLE! So here I am at the library thinking where to start all over AGAIN!

I really forgot what to say here... I forgot! Maybe things like that arent really mentioning... whatever...

ah! I remember, I did something cute this week! We helped adie on shooting Katchu (the one-man-show! Naks!) after THE practice! hehehe... P.E. bores me............. ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzZzzzz sorry Marice I know you-oh-so-love-P.E. or Somebody in P.E.!!! hehehe... Ay, where's the soul in that???

whatever, again... this is senseless. I should proceed digging research materials again!

ps.
I was suppose to do yoga today. I just realized, I've lost my yoga mat!!! Ah bitch!!!

MYLOVE.MYLIFE.SO-NEAR-YET-SO-FAR

Days of the week seems to be such an imposible flight for me...

Works for Tomcat.Quizzes that are continously being pauseponed.Bulk of readings.Expository works.Stupid people.Headless feeling.Return of the BiLLiards.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.MIGGY CHAVEZ.

MIGGY CHAVEZ.
MIGGY CHAVEZ.
MIGGY CHAVEZ.
MIGGY CHAVEZ.
MIGGY CHAVEZ.

MIGGY CHAVEZ.

MIGGY CHAVEZ.

MIGGY CHAVEZ.

MIGGY CHAVEZ.

MIGGY CHAVEZ.



ok this is insanity, but can you just expain why is it that everytime I'm at the verge of seeing him I always end up on a secondhand experience???

Ecca saw him yesterday due to a CRS (College of Rehabilitation Science) event. He was there. Not for a performance but for his senior crs student girlfriend!!! Yes people, his girlfriend is a crs student!!! Whahahaha...

thanks to Ecca for giving miggy a restless moment at the med building labby...
2 pictures and 4 autographs for me, jana, marice, syempre sa kanya rin!
Buong Block na!!!

I have no plans in killing his girl, but why's the chance of seeing him again, without make up this time, seems difficult!!!


HAY...

putik! sorry if this is so petty for YOU. READER.
Pagbigyan nyo na ko...

ps

me bago akong crushie!!! I made a poem for him last thursday instead of reviewing for Filipino Quiz! hahaha i'll post it sometime next week! PARA TO SA PANGHIHINAYANG SA STANDARDS NYA!

thank God Sir Eros is not around! hahaha maybe he decided he'll just be with his oh-so-pretty-girl!!!

SIR IDOL! technique nga sa icha-icha!!!

hehe

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary.If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

FILIPINO.CHICOSCI.FRUSTARTION. & GREAT DISAPPONTMENT

reminisce un mayrics gig nila, hindi ito un pic namin pero wala pa kasi sakin un eh

So, ito ang daming frustrations!!! Yesterday was the day I've been waiting for, for the last 4 weeks!!! so meaning 1 month na yun! Eh tangina naman hindi naman sinabing 9am un start nila!!! Un magaling kong ex-classmate na nababaliw mode nanaman at paimportante eh di man lang sinabing namove un sched for the gig! I've txted her a hundred times tapos ano ba namn un isang txt na, "jen... namove un gig sa medAudi nah! and 9am un start!" Was that a hard thing to do??? And dont tell me na busy siya... lagi naman, pero pagdating sa ibang tao (un isang guy na di niya mapakawalan kahit pa lantaran na siyang inayawan) mabilis pa siya ke Superman!!! Damn!!!

9:00am (Tomcat office)

Elaine: If I'm not mistaken nakita ko un vocalist ng Chicosci sa Carpark!!!

Me: (talking to myself) aga naman! kadadating Q rin lang and dumaan din naman akong car park! E... bat di Q nakita???

Me: Naku andito na pala si Miggy!!!

Eliza: Sino un???

Me: Un vocalist ng Chicosci! Un gig na pupuntahan namin ni Fhau!!!

Eliza: Ang saya naman, nandito nah!

Me: (talking to myself, again) Eh bat ang aga!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

11:45 am (Tomcat office)

*Nag-CR kami ni Kamille sa Tomcat mismo, sa gilid nun katabi un area for the working student...

Student: Grrrrabe... nakapagpapic na ko ke miggy! Ang Gwapo!!!

*nanlaki yun mga mata namin ni Kamille! Na-excite kami!!!

Me: (talking to myself, again) Eh bat ang aga!!!

*kumain kami sa KFC nila joanna at kamille!!! NAEEXCITE sila for me!!! Ako din!

*Nagtxt si Fhau samahan ko daw muna siya, magsasanla! dali-dali ako! Nang nandun nako.

Fhau's txt: "mamamya ka na umalis sa Uste maliligo pa ko!"

* I went home, natulog konti... Naguluhan nako! BAKIT NANDUN SILA NG MAAGA??? imposibleng na-excite lang sila kaya ang aga, cause un friday night me gig sila sa 6underground! e malamang sobrang gabi na sila natapos dun!!!

*PANIC MODE!

*tinext Q si marice tinanoong un no. ni Kristel (commerce, since event nila un!)

Kristel: Hah??? e dito un sa medAudi kaninang umaga.

Me: sob...

*Sky falls down on me, how I wish it was literal so that I'll just have to bury myself from frustration...

*pumunta parin ako nun tnxt akoni Fhau... nanlalata. nagresearch ng 1 libro, kumain ng kung ano-ano, nagbalak manood ng sine pero di nakapagsanla kaya... uwian na.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I bury myself reading the Filipino materials... me napakaganda akong nabasa!

Estudyante: "talaga bang epektibo ang Filipino sa teatro?"

Direktor: "Putang ina mo!"

*sabi ng director sa kanyang crew

Direktor: "Tignan nyo, epektibo ang Filipino sa teatro!"

-de quiro, Ang Kapangyarihan ng Wika, Wika ng Kapangyarihan

Sa dami ng nagyari gusto kong mabaliw... Sa lahat ng ayaw ko yung nabibitin ako! Sabihin niyong whatever... Whatever din kayo!!! Katulad nitong batang nasalikod ko, ang likot, gusto kong...

Ah... Breather.

I'm still trying to complete my Filipino paper and can't believe that I'm still blogging... hehehe. Something bothers me... It was marice latest post (special mention ba daw! hehehe) anyways, It's more of a jealousy thing. Wala lang, I know I've felt that a lot of times before when I was at Marice's age. (damn, is that a deliberate admission that Im old?, older than her okie) Wala lang, I've felt that for a million times and Ive somehow overcome that feeling. Actually, I think I felt a bit nervous that I'm, at some point, losing my emotions... my feelings and all. Since, fourth year high school I started to change myself to a what I called "better me"... And so I think! I'm stoic right now, not feeling a bit more of anything unless I'm alone, or at least at distance with a crowd. I think it's a self defense that I created. A strong one that nobody could easily break... It's not a pretention or an acting it's more of a calaused me... Jealousy, anger, pain, it's always around... it will never go... but, at least Ive done something to not feel any of this when I'm feeling I'm about to burst. Basta, labo...

I've texted ate last night...
She's fine and all.
I feel so far from her, more than just the distance that borders us. I felt that to anybody that is supposed to be close to me... I was never close to anybody, never will.

On the lighter side:
I still feel jealous about the fact that: "Parang Dyosa ang GF ni Miggy!" this is according to the male cult members of the Vampire Death Squad!

Synopsis.

12:30 am

I boiled the water for my green tea... I took a shower... then drink my still-hot-tea... it took me 20 minutes to do the drinking.

1:30 am

I was waiting for the Daily Myx Countdown's #1, it was Callalily. I was happy DaleCandela was so moved! hehe..

I tried to sleep, but I know it will take sometime to do that... I'm still under caffeine.

5:38 am

Should I come to my Natsci class??? My body and mind was still at low pace... Mind not functioning... PE.... PE.... PE.... I got to meet lianne at 7am, she's giving me the ipod for an earlier practice.

I was late... She did not come...

11:00 am

I have to go home (eat at home) to save a few cents...

12:05 pm

Kc and I practiced... It was great! Hopefully until Friday...

1:20 pm

I went at the Tomcat office... they make me do a synopsis for Tigerbeat...

2:55 pm

I now here at the Internet section of the library.

unwine.

The tests are finally over, but of course, not the problems...

"Foreseeing NGARAGAN 101"

Tomorrow will be the ultimate test of strenght and endurance!
So HELP ME GOD!!! I've seen signs or maybe I'm just to paranoid yesterday... My 200 bucks got lost at KFC, my things scattered on the maddy floor, and now our Natsci exam was cancelled due to the absence of Ms. Garcia, making it a burden on Friday! But I did asked God for some considerations... And our Finance Test was eliminated! Whuhu!!!

TOMORROW:

• LTS prelims
• Filipino recitation
• Filipino Quiz

*mind you, that Filipino is not just your ordinary subject! It requires reading 81 pages and remembering atleast unbelievable lenght of facts and history of the language may it be tagalog, pilipino, filipino etc...

• and of couse the Chicosci gig I'm dying to go to.

Why im I so infected, the way that we shine.

-Paris, chicosci

Labo?.

I cant believe I actually survive yesterdays happenings... A Charismatic Concert! Ok, I really cant put the right words here since this damn keyboard is obviously not cooperating here! hahaha... Kamusta ang mga lolo't lola na nagprapraise the Lord! Look guys it's not that I'm not Catholic but damn man!... if it wasnt for fhau I really wouldnt be there! Anyways, she's going with me to watch Chicosci at Mayrics during school days so its ok... and yes she danced well last night, and that is another understatement coz as if nobody knows that she really dance well! A megadance Champion, kaya yun she is to give back the talent God has given her. hahaha...

I buried myself in endless nothing so I'm in a panic mood! Panic???... How could I afford to blog then? Paranoid, I think is the right word!...


Guess that's what you get from listening to much chicosci.

And yes, August 19, they will be here at uste... so musta nman? hahaha.

but we almost made it...
-chicosci, you're killing me

cut it off...

I'm finally back and kicking... Just decided to chance my skin since I cant figure out what's wrong with my previews skin. weird!

I just watch "PARE KO" the movie. I just cant believe how time flies by. The first time I heard the heads was way back in my second grade... We even bastardize the whole song, Huling El Bimbo... "..Taga hugas ka raw nung pwet sa may ermita..." silly kids.

I was supposed to blog yesterday but since my whole entirety was cut off... and my viewing as well. (during Lee Dong Wook's interview at the buzz) That was just one of those sad part of your life, really sad.
Ok, this is an understatement but let's see. Pain + sadness + grudge + alienation = what???
If you can find the right word for that, well, Welcome to the club! I guess I'm not that alone anyway, since I read my bestfriend's blog, I kinda feel the statement, "tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are!"
Hmm...
I dont feel like telling everything here, and I'm the type of person that just really what to move on, Fast!
Well, I just hope the rain would wash everything that just happened yesterday. It was a real drama believe me. That could even win an oscar! Definitely not your ordinary parent fights, or sibling war, not even the gang wars that occurs occasionaly in front of our house. Damn, if I'll make this a movie I'll be filthy rich!

Classes are suspended... when will my drama be?

kamuka ni champ!

PRESENTING...


"ASIAN KUNG FU GENERATION"!

JAPANESE ROCK BAND, THE SAME GUYS THAT SANG ONE OF THE

OPENING SONG FOR NARUTO!

KAMUKA NI CHAMP!


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NARUTO ENDING SONG!


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wala walang...

Classes are suspended! Hanggang Friday DAW!!!!

MEME!

MEME from Avery... he said...


JENN
1. UST high! (common!)
2. touch your nose with your tongue. (what the??? nasa compshop ako mamya na!)
3. grey - I see you as neutral in every view. (hahaha... Stoic kc ako!)
4. pagiging tahimik... :P (men, you dont know me!)
5. kasama mo si Sam nung 1st day. (oo nga! Kasi nmn katabi mo xa!)
6. a pomeranian, petite yet malikot... (petite na malikot ako??? That's like???)
7. bakit wala kang picture sa blog mo? hehe... (wala eh...)
8. make you a meme. :P (thankzzzz!)
9. try the letter... J... oki ba?me


The rules are simple... sabi in avery! If you like a meme tell me...

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must in turn post this meme on your blog.
9. With a letter I assign to you, you must write ten things that you like that begin with that letter.

10 Js that I love...

• Jennifer! (egoistic ako minsan)
• Jam (pineapple)
• Joseph yeo (chinito eh!)
• Jullian (MY GIRL! whuhuuu!)
• January (bagong buhay! Birth month ni Miggy!)
• Jokes(lahat naman eh)
• Japan! (Astig na country! gusto ko pumunta!)
• Jeepney! ("Spongecola", di "Kala"!)
• Jamming (music lover eh)
• Jargon! (word na lagi namin sinasabi un HS na me sariling mundo! hahaha!)

Wassup??!

CHICOSCI's on "Wass Up Wass Up" tonight!!!

that's according to calde... feeling close.

CLICK THIS NOW!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0wfDbhUzlo

Endless a silent whisper & the EARTHQUAKE!

So there you go, the earthquake just stopped! I think it lasted for about 10 seconds! Kamille and I just have to looked at each other to confirm the unstillness. Men that's long!!! I guess the impact at the six floor is just so noticable...

I arrived late for our natsci class which seemed to be fine by me. I looked around and the only constant thing that I see is that panic look ever student had on their face. You can tell they are all in a hurry! On the otherhand I looked relax and carefree as always...


ENDLESS A SILENT WHISPER
>>>urbandub
The night belongs to us
We're caught in a world of our own
We cling to the hope it would change for us
Is it in vain?
Is it too late?
Why did it have to be you than I.
I heard the news today.

Is this the beginning of our last dance?
Once around the floor, can we do it again?
I feel the thrill from words we say,
I love you.

Embrace so much tighter
This could be our last together
Heaven sheds tears for the wounded hearts
Our forever has been torn apart

Our vast religions
Won't help us answer
What was pre-destined for us to have
Since long ago.
It's hopeless

The world it turns with us
Hold me in closer, don't let go of me
Now we close our eyes and let go to the night
The night we feel alive.

HEAD SHOT!

I just finished a letter to a very dear friend asking what on earth he thinks about a numbered astrological sign!

i saw him yesterday but the threshold is to imposible...
i miss my puppy.

I also finished the post test for my LTS. Thanks and no thanks for a failing grade! And I still have the hangover brought by mr. eros' examination! I thought a bar or two could heal it but it the pain is still static. But, I just want to thank sir eros for finally oiling our rusting minds and senses, it's been a while since I met a teacher like that! >>>Sir. Melvin, is that you??? Asian is still a buried thought... hay... (let's do this together once more, LOUDER this time!) HAY!...

Head shot by the assassin... the military is moving to the target area... the hostage is saved... the BOMB has been planted... Fire in the hole, Fire in the hole.

BLOOD AND MORE BLOOD...

I have this feeling that a few more days from now I'll be converted to a cult that not even those indi could grasp. Unlease the Vampire in me! hahahahaha (this really have to sound like Dracula!)

I have finally activated my damn eleap. Thank you, whoever said that the first question has a bug on it!

FRUSTRATION STRIKES

Now when you start having this feeling stop thinking... and breath...
I still cant activate my eleap for some perpetual reason. This is the same problem that I had since last school year. Our landline still doesnt want to give any convenience. My paranoid self slowly reveling itself once more.

*now the music stops and Iam alone again...
*pump the volume to maximum level
*Paris, Chicosci

I couldnt have their album, it's only available on their gigs. What the???
If I wasnt able to catch them this morning on NU I'll be freaking lunatic by now. THANKS.

you and I step into the light
Iam so graced that I have this

hurry.

It seems like im running out of good titles here. Anyway I just saw MY BENCHBOY came out of the library. He looks harassed though, must be the pressure from being a med student! I coudnt imagine myself in that. Thank God Im not rich! I wanted to look for something but I just cant find it in the net and damn those good looking asses! hahaha... whatever that means. A lot of people were transfering to lj, whats up with that??? what is with lj anyways? hahaha nonsense talks and ravings! hahaha... I think I should transfer there... NOT! Never, the wicked little bitch is there... hehehe... And what's with the... "You can buy it from us just like DRUGS!!!" Is that a deliberate thing to say on air!!! Whatever suits him... HE is still hot! FOREVER! hehehe...

And that guy on my English class, he still is gay. As if that's gonna change!

regrets

I just went to National Book store at west triangle and bought the wrong refill for my notebook! Where in the world could I get the Sterling refill??? Not at sm north, sm san lazaro not even there! Grrr... Tomorrow is the ending for Gokusen, and I'm going to miss Jun Matsumoto! hahaha... By the way there is this guy at our E**%#@h class and he does look good but the thing is when we heard his voice... sayang...

recovery...

This sucks! Everytime I decide to write something I just couldn't find the right topic. seventh day of the school day and I still don't know when I'll decide to wake up earlier. I usually get out of the house around 6:20am during high school, but now I just step out when it's already 10 minutes before 7... hahaha Damn, I love craming! And besides I have no reason to take my time in being mesmerized by the beautiful sight of the lover's lane... I miss the sweet smell of the grass and at the end, the good looking guy I am excited to see every freaking day! "MISS U BENCH BOY!" Kamille, Sam, Joanna and I just had a chit chat over at KFC, and forgot what the hell we are talking about! I still have no what so ever towards our professor, maybe because my so called Stoic Self is coming back to life!

They say clear thinking is of essential to a great writing! Whatever! I dont have that right now... I just wanted to bum around see the things go by without me in it... Why do I have to be there?

NO recovery, still...
I am getting psychotic everyday...
BEWARE!

hmm...

reason.

I haven't started a good post here because of the suck schedule that I have. Right after class you feel the tension in your stomach, the crunch sound and yes the wailing of it. So what do you do? you answer to its need and go right to the nearest food you can grab! And then what? you'll feel tired, sleepy and bored... then you go straight home! No more internet, or somethings on the side. haha... Kamille's calling me right now. I cant go home this early. haha... Fhau was with me yesterday and we went to 1611 with jon. She paid for our food and suit herself puffing all the cigars she could get!!! hahaha... loka she is losing her sense of taste, must be the nicotine! The orgs are now open for recruitment, join Yoga club! I feel blotted... have to stop this... anyways they are cutting the time now for the internet use. Suckers!

back to basics.

My brother just came here in Manila last Friday, so I just I'll stop the usual things I'm doing. Boring is the word to describe our time spent together, nonetheless I am happy to see him and all. I just wish I know him better. The last time I saw him was when my lolo died and that's about 4 fuckin years, so dont be surprised if we didnt had a blast seeing each other. And besides I dont really know them na as if I've lived with them... Sad. But fuck! what the... emo nanaman! Enough, haha... he walking tall and normal so that is important. Last thursday, when tita ave told me that ron is coming I felt excited and all, just like the last time they were here (lolo's burial) I felt like an ate once more. I felt needed and strong and matured and freaking nerves electrified! hahaha! and then once again when I am spending time with him I felt apart and far from everything he is. Guilty nanaman ako! hahaha... drama. I think he is coming more often so more time to appreciate each other. Pati si Ian, my youngest brother, hope I'll see him soon.

Sunday morning we went to ust chapel before he goes back to Olongapo. He was pretty amazed to look around uste, and I on the otherhand felt stupid. If I could just make them experienced the life I have right now. Stupid me.

Sessions
Fhau and I were supposed to go see bob and clint! Well, thanks to cigars she puffed before goin to bed, ayun headache effect tuloy! hahaha... It is kind of a blessing in disguise cause when I checked out who's on RT Sunday Sessions, it was Chicosci! hehehe heavy SEXY ROCK!!! The first song I heard from them was Paris and that was it! Fhau told me she couldnt undestand a word so when I checked the cd, well, it was just the cd that is disfunctional. It was ok when I heard it. hahaha I am pretty open to all sort of music e di naman freaking non-understandable ung song so it was ok. A little heavy and headbanging but it wouldnt blow my ears to tears of blood so its ok! Super understated but that is all I can say. I think I'lll check out their new album, more digestible, I guess. And yeah have I told you I have a crush on Miggy the first time I saw him so ok na un.

wow

wow
for the first time i've cleared my email in a breeze!!! i just got home for the 3 hour enrollment in a sweat box like place!
wow i cant open my supposedly post so i'll just start over again.

• wow did you know that Lance Bass and Dave Moffatt are gays???
• "Dianetic" got a great concept! but... you know nah.
• "Mary" from the Beautiful Machine Album sounds perfect for Brokeback MOuntain! I can actually hear it in the background while Jake speeds off to Mexico when Heath turns him down.
• "241" what a song and wtf is that video! Fhau said it was cool! i said it's suppose to be nostalgic and all. But well guess torrid kisses are one of those things one will surely miss.
• "Beer" by the Itchyworms, i heard that song even before they relaesed the album. Thanks to NU i was able to know that song! i thought the theme for the video is going to be serious this time. i should have known better!
• i have not yet practiced my violin for around 5 days now! bad bad bad bad me... my right thumb is callused. And two hours of playing only four notes is tiring especially now that I am suppoesd to know all the notes, well not till I get to see Ate Hanna. I'll see her sa june 19 pah!

LITRATO


malulupit na mga paa...

DIWATA SA DILIM!!!


pics pa to sa birthday ni JHAYCEE... mizzzzz u guys
-edited by Fhau's mom

rain on me

Rain on me...

water's rising, bring me down and pushing me up once again.

For the past 13 years I know, from the moment I wake up, when they will suspend classes...

when there is water on the front of our house.

now the time has come...

Rain on me, on classes, just moments.


Rivermaya rocks Thailand. --- I am still on the process of learning the VIOLIN! --- I am still on the warm ups... --- Strong winds and violent rains this May only makes me foresee all the great water forms that I missed last year! --- Yoga on Tuesdays and Thursdays. --- One last debut, and I am hosting it. --- I AM BROKE!!! --- By next week I will be more BROKE! --- Now tell me how could I possibly watch THE DA VINCI CODE??? --- I am in love with JUN MATSUMOTO! --- Mark Abaya is the HOTTEST ROCKER on earth! --- Closure for my Puppy...

hai...

my whole back aches...

my shoulders pains...

i bleed.

shit! the net connection sucks...

Complex
Dicta License

Take a piece off my indifference
Look at me with those impenetrable eyes
Blind by the memories you loathe
Sing with me against the fourth wall
“I will be pure
and immaculately chaste
In the darkness I will shine
free from all disgrace.”

Chorus
Speak. These words forever
Sail these streets of old.
Make these words your own.
Never again,
Never to fall.

Never again should you forget
Every part of you is real
But when lights hits
Your skin reveals
Your shadow long ago
Numb and oblivious to the whole
Truth that you are a secret no one knows
Gift to mother
In her eyes you were home

Repeat chorus

Fly away up in the clouds
To chase your dreams
They will never die, you say

Repeat chorus



Dahilan
Barbie Almalbis

Alam ko na ang pangalan mo
Pati address at telepono
Sa daming kwentong umiikot
Alam ko na rin ang mga ayaw mo

Chorus
Ngunit lahat nang ito ay walang kahulugan
Kung di rin lang ikaw ang matagpuan
Ang pag-ibig ko ay walang saysay
Kung dir in lang ikaw ang dahilan

Naaalala ko ang dati
Magkasama hanggang hating gabi
Di bale na kung anong sabihin nila
Habang buhay magkatabi

Repeat chorus

Binabasa kita
Malapit nang Makita
Sinusuri ko ang mga letra

Ngunit lahat nang ito ay walang kahulugan
Kung di rin lang ikaw ang katapusan
Ang pag-ibig ko ay walang saysay
Kung di rin lang ikaw ang dahilan
Kung di rin lang ikaw ang dahilan

and just because i have nothing to do...

MIDSUMMER NIGHT
with TRIP by 6cyclemind

APRIL 27

I was hurrying to be on time and did not even attend the 10 am practice of hatha yoga at the center. I came to Fhau’s house at exactly 1:15pm and still early for everything.

Pagsikat ng umaga bigla na lang
Nag-iiba
Hindi mo ba napapansin?
Naghahanap na ng timpla
Nagmamasid ang mga mata
sa iyong kinalalagyan
ba’t di kaya tayo gumala,
trip mo bang sumama

Glads and Pauline were watching Animal Planet for some weird reasons while eating slices of chocolate cakes when I arrived. I suddenly feel nauseates. It was terribly hot outside, I’m feeling all dried up and to capped it all, my almost empty stomach starts to heat up inside. “I really have to compose myself”, I said silently. They (other relatives of Fhau) got my things and carried them to the van to be brought to the hotel. Glads and Pauline are still watching Animal Planet and I on the other hand, once again, and still trap on my own small corner world. Fhau gave me a slice of cake. I always thought that food serves more as a company for me rather than nourishment. It was around past three in the afternoon when Kanny, Jofel and John Paul arrived. The Exager82rs is complete, finally, so much for a call time. They practiced at the garage leaving me with the electric fan and the t.v. set! It was around four when they all decided to check out the venue.

Halika ating subukan
Tayo ngayon ay iisa
Ikaw at ako basta trip mo
Sama-sama tayo

It was Fhau’s debut and as a member of the Exager82rs, they get hold of themselves and practice not for the annual high school Megadance but for the debut. Damn, ok they remind me of my junior year. It was at that time when they bagged the grand price as the finest dancing people in high school, well except for the cheering team of course. Anyway, when we arrived at Teatrillo in Intramuros Eric Lam is already there. ERIC LAM: the owner of the lights and sounds / sound engineer that Fhau fancy! Damn, he is so CHINESE! Yes, not chinito but Chinese! Hahaha… I always looked up to Fhau when it comes to her standards of good looking guys, but this time I guess I have to really see for myself before agreeing. He looks like Joseph Yeo trapped in the body of Chito Miranda! Now that is really, really bad! Fhau what is going on with you??? Hahaha… then we went straight to the hotel while discussing how that eric become a comely fellow. I took a shower at the hotel, I think I needed it.

Chorus
Trip mo… trip ko
Kahit saan ka pa tutungo
Trip ko… trip mo
Walang iwanan, walang itatago
Trip mo bang sumakay sa paglalakbay?

It was eight when we hopped in the van to go back to Teatrillo. I saw Ryza (jr. classmate) and Jill (elem.friend) sitting already. Some familiar faces and then when I decided to come up, because the venue is a dungeon, I saw Jane, Micha with her mom and then Don! Of all, I miss Don! I have not seen Don for a year now, imagine that! I always see Jev, Don’s partner in crime. They are like Buddy and Sol; Louis and Clark; Jack and the beanstalk; bread and butter! They are inseparable! Don asked if Jev is invited, but no, he is not. Fhau and Jev are not that close anyways. In my barkada during my second year I was the flexible person aside from Fhau. I rather go with the weird people, yeah they are weird, they know! They are not bad weird though, those unusual eccentric fun people that goes to be the culmination of all school personality. They are the most real of all real looking people! I love them! And yes, after that the program started!

Sama-sama tayo, kahit saan pa mapadpad
Limutin ang kahapon bigayang
Halaga bukas at ngayon
Walang magkukubli
Sa ilalim ng buwan tayo ang hari

Fhau was wearing a sparkling tangerine gown with butterfly wings on her back. Did I mention that there are around more or less ten people with butterfly wings and then Don, just decided to wear an angel’s wings. Whatever! Hahaha… the whole evening was fun even if the video presentation was a little troublesome. Don, Jane and I even decided to go for another round of desserts. It was the chocolate fountain thing! When we went back in our seats the only thing left there were the breadsticks, all the fruits were gone.

Ikaw at ako, basta trip mo
sama-sama tayo

It was the lighting of the candles that really took me off. The original plan was not for the 18 candles to give any speech. But what the heck! I was planning to give a funny yet witty speech but because I was not able to guard myself with whatever might happen, when my long storytelling of the friendship is about to end I just broke down and cried. Damn, I was and still am emotional. I do not have any privileged of letting it out so if I really have the moment it just has to get out. Well, yeah… After that It was better and all. Micha, the host grabbed me and John Paul to the mic and start our own little pang-aaliw so just the people wont get the feeling of silence. Then the Exager82rs dance and the real dancing came to life. I haven’t really danced that long for a year now since the banning of parties in USTe.

Just like the old days when nobody cares as long as the lights are off, music is playing and hell those people that keeps on stepping on my feet. We went back to the hotel, then went home and at around three in the morning I was readying to get some sleep.

Limutin ang problema
Hanapin ang kasagutan
Ikaw at ako, basta trip mo
Sama-sama tayo
Kahit pa abutin tayo
Ng bagyo

debut dillema

DILLEMA

I am invited to over three debut parties this vacation, to Jhaycee’s, Fhau’s and then to Maila’s…

Last Friday was jhaycee’s party. It was ok, meaning that, it’s just ok, nothing much! Overly stated and all! I mean everything is fine except for the fact that it seems that the whole thing is not intimate as expected! Meaning, I felt no warmth in the whole party. I really have no idea what is going on behind the whole affair, making me a useless friend! Yeah, it’s seems a little awkward and all. I’m really in no position to say this, but Jhaycee needs more than just a party, that’s all. How I wish I could talk to her more. Anyways, I am going to see her in Fhau’s party and I am having this vibe that it is going to be a whole lot of FUN!!! And I meanF.U.N.! Definitely not your usual, average debut, it is going to be a blast that is for sure! But for the meantime I have to sell some books and newspapers just to afford a decent gift for her… hahaha… I mean my gift to jhaycee is really rocking! (Pearl necklace) it was my tita’s but she said I could give it away since we have a bunch stored in our room! (The one that you can see muslims sell in Quiapo. It is less expensive and besides I am the one that has to make it into a jewelry because it is sold in bundles and plain strings.) I am thinking of making myself into a human glow in the dark!!! (sabi ni Fhau eh! the theme is Whimsical) Hahaha… not sure what to accessories my dress since I am going to wear the same outfit that I wore last Friday… it is hectic and still I am bored in between!
I am going to call Ate Hannah, I have to learn the violin fast. It is for free, expect for the violin itself. Let’s see if I still have that certain touch when it comes to musical instruments.
I am currently reading the untouched selections in our lit copies… I need more stories to fill in my schedule…
Bored, not so, I think.

yaddie yaddie yadda!

yaddie yaddie yadda!


Im completely feeling blue… im lost without you… I don’t know what to do… sweet love without you.
It is just one of the many songs my lolo loves to sing! (LUVULO’)
The one that opened my mind into the liking of the smell of the beer! And who told you that small boys are the only ones that think about that!

No, my entry is not at any extent related to that. Or maybe the first line! Gosh! What the hell is wrong??? Why do I have to refresh the sites all the time! (yahoo mail, blogsss)
Ok, I basically forgot almost everything that happened to me this holy week or things that did not at all occur! So, here it goes a sudden gosh of memory!

Abstinence is good! But the thing is, I found out that when you try to impede the loving, it would only lead to finding another outlet!!! I stopped eating meat last Wednesday! Yes, I successfully did, however due to certain balikbayan-stuff I convert myself into a living chocomaniac! I ate chocolate cookies with white chocolate chips and choco coated biscuits on breakfast, I ate bread with choco-orange spread for snacks, plus MILO, then chocolate barssssssssssssss on the side after dinner! I don’t know if I’m gaining tons right now, well I stopped last Sunday anyways so what the heck! La na Chocolate e! it’s in my system and already digested well. Maybe that’s the reason I’m blue. No more choco…

Im reading a book about a sixteen year old schizo girl, I never promised you a rose garden. Hell, it is exciting! Hehe…
I just finished The Divine Secrets of Yaya Sisterhood last week, it is heart-warming…
I bet it is way better than the flick version, as always!

What to do when you are bored: well this is the top ten during the Morning Rush (rx 93.1) If you don’t know this program then maybe you need to explore more on your radio frequency. It’s a show hosted by chico and delamar and yes, it’s a morning show that starts at 6 to 9:00am!
Well, I am having my own version!

• Open your radio, listen non-stop!
• Do not splurge on your usual radio program
• Listen to Magic 98.9 around 10 to 12:00pm! Mo twister is hilarious! Mojo jojo is so GAYYYYYYYYY! My brokeback fellow!
• Listen to NU 107, if you are feeling that angst!
• Interact, request, greet, even if it means you have to sacrifice P2.50 on every SMS
• Eat then, blog until you drop!
• one entry (morning rush) suggest that you think of the time when you get all the money you want! dude, this is exactly what i do every single day! condo, cars, palawan mansion(OC style), real estates! or maybe I will be a filthy rich Hollywood star turned rockstar (drummer) due to well, what else but boredom in paparazzi and cheap acting!
• google your crushes!!!

I just watched Ice Age: The Meltdown yesterday! Thanks for the free movie, large fries and ice tea FHAU! Haha… pre-debut??? Damn, it is so nice to have friends that always have that extra money! And to the free ride na rin!

Cannot wait for the parties I’m attending to.

* yahoomail still hungs up!!!!! darn this things!

APRIL 2, 2006:

Last night, I was contemplating on how fascinating my dreams could get that it actually foresee things that is bound to happen. It was in the middle of summer 2003 when I had this dream about a few bitchy classmates of mine that seems to piss me off in front of my crush in the midst of a Eucharistic ceremony in UST Chapel. They were at the back, standing and staring at me as I enter the chapel, anticipated my arrival and armed themselves with all the teasing they had muster all their lives. And there, they go lambasting my whole moral with their sassy looks and evil words. I swear, if I could just swear in front of God. Well, here goes the weird part. I saw a grade school batch mate; we are not friends or anything like that, we do talk for formality sake, but that’s it. She just appeared and what do you know, she saves me from those demonic bitches. How she did it I do not know. After a year, she became my classmate, cheatmate, phonemate, secret-keeper, go-home-buddy, since we do ride the same jeepney and one of my best friends! I was remininiscing because she actually asked me to be one of the candles for her début this coming May. Then the second time it happened was when I had a dream about two of my classmate in second year. I was on the rooftop of the high school building eavesdropping on a couple (my two classmates) arguing on something, and as if it’s so automatic that it just slips out of my mouth something like, “Naku, L.Q. na ‘to ah!” The day after that, I told the dream at my girl classmate’s bestfriend, and she goes, “OH MY GOD! Napanaginipan mong sila? Eh, crush nya yun e!” I was clueless. They barely talk so they do not seem to share something like that, a simple crush. And to make things even more wicked is when I found out that later after that year the boy classmate of mine started courting her! They did not end up to each other’s arms though. Well, I guess that explained why they are arguing in my dream. Actually, that is not the end of a series of my ala-Professor-Trelawney’s-prediction. So much for that, well actually I haven’t got that much of a dream these days. I mean they make really no sense at all. A dream of a cuddling moment with my “puppy” doesn’t seems like it’s going to happen anytime soon, but last night I had it. I dreamt that we just received our economics final test result. And guess what I got, 54 over 100! Then I started throwing my things in the air and screaming like hell! I flunk! I AM AN IRREG! I went home, bitter and all, feeling sorry for my never-saved-ass, devastated, cursing and yeah you know when you flunk… or maybe if you haven’t (good for you!) when you get to see student mortified by the last-breathing-most-notorious-professor or over-sized geek tumbling down the stairs, that’s how I looked like. Shame, envelopes the whole me. But, when I woke up, to my surprise I suddenly realized that, that is the exact grade I should have to pass. 54 over 100 means 77% (yeah, I know, ang bobo noh!) anyhow Mrs. Diaz told me that atleast I should have this percentage in my final exam to pass. So, does that mean I did pass? Hay, I don’t know if this dreams of mine could really take me any further. I guess, I just have to pray harder than ever.


and look and behold, i passed! hahaha...

slow, bastard-creature and the SNOB!

slow, bastard-creature and the SNOB!

Ok, so this whole crap is taking me to heights! The internet seems so slow here… no realllllly slow. I have at least 1000+ messages waiting to be opened or at least be trashed out in my mail box and this damn net connection just keeps on bugging me! Well I guess this spare time is good for me to type in anything that I want in my blog. I cant open the dream entry that I have. Oh this is killing me! I really and badly want to share those weird dreams that I’m having back in high school, but I guess I have to wait and find a better net shop that will supply my needs. Ok, everything is HANGING BIG TIME right now! Not a single window is moving and I cant log in, in blogger. I am bothered but well, it’s all good I miss this thing, typing like nuts, typing like there’s no tomorrow, whatever crosses my mind I just type it in. So, ok that’s why the shop is deserted. Usually at this time of the day it will be jam packed and there is like no stopping anybody in there constant gaming and for some endless waiting. Well, this is a different shop all together alright! Ok, some are just to slow!!! This one is… ok, I’ll just tell you a brute thing my cousin did last night! First of all I’m not sure if he or she, or whatever fucking species he or she belong to, is my cousin! Tita said they are not sure… since his.. (ok stop! I’ll call him “creature”) if the “creature” really is a family… ok, wrong blood related! Family is broad; here we don’t treat each other like that! Sad, well not really, but true! Tita said the “creature’s” mother has tons of men under her skirt that they don’t know if he really is related to us! It’s about 11:30 pm, I think, since it’s my night shower escapade. I heard some banging on our gate and guess what it’s the “CREATURE”. IT started howling like mad dog and endlessly bangs our gate! Suddenly I felt Tita Myrna moving across the second floor and looks out the window. And behold what the goddamn creep yells. “Tita Myrna? Nandyan ba si Tita Ave? Paki sabi PUTANGINA niya! Wag syang pakita sa akin!!! Tita Myrna sabihin mo!” the guts to call them "Tita"! Wow, the moment I hear this, I felt like bulging out the house and give him or “creature” a beating! I'll be the famous GAY BASHER in our block or in the even in the whole Sampaloc! My heart beat races like wild horses on the loose; I do not know what to do! I don’t give a fucking care if they’ll make fun of me and say “Sa ust pa naman nag-aral!” believe me this situation needs no cultured system! They do not have the capacity to grasp a whole new idea called MANNERS and CIVILIZATION! Sir Melvin told us before that if you’re talking make sure you’ll be understand by our listeners! Oh, no they need no words! They need beating believe me! I know this junk and his like. They act like they own the whole block flirting with every bastard looking guy that is foolish enough to hook with them! If my grandfather is alive I’m sure he’s dead by now. Literally! Now it’s so vivid that they wont allow me to mingle with this people. Now, I understand why I feel so bad when I’m with them. I mean, bad in a way that I feel superior and all! Believe me they do not have manners! Ok, so what if they belong to a broken family? I don’t have a fucking mother and father to look after me either! They are not the role model that they should be and I know that ever since I laid eyes on them. But I AM Fine! And what the fuck is wrong with them? They may be calling us arrogant but I tell you I rather be like that than be useless. They are bums and fucking shits! Yes, they are! If they do that to me I’ll smile and go lambasting every muscle existing in their body! If I have to break some bones I will, and God spare them for I will never know what I’ll do next! I don’t asked my Tita Ave want is that all about I’m in no mood to hear whatever it is! I will never ask, I will remain as ever stoic about it. If I see that bastard-creature I’ll act the usual way. SNOB.

p.s. do not try pissing me off! I've been waiting for a time that i'll get to work my muscles out. and if you happen to be that non-luck creature i tell you back off if you do not want to die. Literally.